Saturday, June 15, 2013

Yoga Day 1. Heart Strings

I arrived at the yoga retreat center and it is every bit of a five star resort. Tea and coffee always available... green tea, lemon tea,  to cinnamon tea, to black tea,  to citrus tea, to wheat grass tea.... fresh herbs for your dish, soups, breads, a buffet of fruit always available. Alkaline water in jars, and almond milk for your latte. Labeled food with gluten, no dairy, gluten free..... etc. Its a wellness mecca, with rooms for meditation and rooms for practicing yoga. Overlooking the valley of San Jose. It is stunning.

I am staying in a luxury room tent. A tent you properly zip up and inside is two beds, a seating room and a large globe lamp above. It is like one you would envision in the middle of some game park in South Africa where you might stay on a safari. 

It is all a bit strange to be honest, and a bit uncomfortable. Its really nice. I like it, I really do. Its just different. A bit too nice. Almost a bit too much. 

While the nice lady I ate dinner with complained about her room, my heart strings pulled just a bit. What I would have loved to say to her.....would not have been so nice. Instead I sipped my green tea and I retreated to a different place. One that longs for my stinky, dirty old house in Pena Blanca, Honduras with my five roommates while the rain poured above our heads. What I would give to have an eight year old boy whom is covered in sweat from playing futbol pulling on my waste band. Or simply to be home. With my parents. For fathers day. I would really love that too.

So the transition is all a bit extreme for me. 

I am excited for the next 28 days. I am grateful for the month to detox, to practice yoga for four hours every day and to be officially teacher trained to teach classes. To have absolutely no agenda at all other than just be here..... 

But such is life you see.....You just always want to be someplace you aren't, even if what you have in front of you is really good. 

So while sitting in class this morning, and asked why we were here at yoga teacher training, I kindly replied that I was here because in addition to wanting to teach yoga..... if I was honest I am not ready to go home.

I long for the place near the Lake, in the middle of Honduras, and my classroom of seven or eight year old...... and yes tears fall as I write this..... I miss it more than you know.... And in all honestly am not sure I am all that excited to be back in the States either.

Someone tell me how it is that this whole thing works ???? We are some place and we want to be over there and then we are over there and we want to be back where we were. 

Not so long ago I lived with the words "Wherever you are be all there" above my head so for now I am going to do my best to try in live in this motto..... but not without every half second thinking of this....

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