The Only Real Way to Live

Drinking Costa Rican coffee out a mug from Hong Kong...... This can only mean a few things.... my heart longs to be traveling again and I live with Erin Zimmerman.  (She went to High School in Hong Kong so our house adorns lovely things from there)

I was speaking with Matt Hohler two days ago and he reminded me that we were just a few days away from our year anniversary of arriving in Honduras. What a sweet reminder that is.....

You may ask what I have been up too since it has been a long time (20 days since I last posted) well lets just say a lot. Here is a mini recap.....

 For the past three weekends I was up in the Mountains (a common phrase we use in Colorado to reference getting out of the city). I spent a weekend in Silverthorne near Lake Dillon on a staff retreat (I am on staff in the Athletic Department at Colorado Christian University) Gearing up for our new school year and preparing our athletic coaches for what is to come. Following that weekend I drove back up to spend the weekend in Vail with my friends. Leaving on Friday we rented a condo for the weekend, laid by the pool, grilled out, stayed up late playing games, rode the gondola at sunset, spotted moose and went out on the town for one of our last summer hurrahs. A short four days after that,  I left with the entire Athletic Staff and Athletes to spend the weekend in Buena Vista for our Annual Athletes Retreat. The weekend marks the beginning of a new school year and gives athletes the opportunity to get to know each other and bond before their seasons start. It was a beautiful weekend.....

So alas this weekend... and at this very moment I am sitting on my porch. Taking this Friday off and drinking my coffee, just as the sky turns blue at 6:31 am this morning. As I mentioned before my 20 things list is slowly getting checked off and one of them is reading the book, 1000 Gifts, with my mom. In light of reading this book I thought I would list a few things I am grateful for these days...... (mom and I are going to finish and discuss when I am back in Kentucky next week eekkk)

Grateful for.......

• This front porch, with a creaky rod iron railing and two plastic chairs that are sat on more than any other piece of furniture in our house.
• For four hour old babies, that look at the world with eyes of wonder
• For a dear friend who was strong and brave and brought that sweet little girl, Story Rose,  into the world
• For friends who decide to run half marathons with you and encourage you on long training runs.
• For plane flights that are able to bring my best friend from 1st grade to Colorado in October for one whole week ....... oh and did I mention she is running the half marathon too (yay Christie Lee)
• For babies in offices that crawl all over the floor and wont sit still on your lap while you try and get work done
• For neighbors who move in next door, who you share life with, a glass of wine and a beer on a Thursday night
• For chalky hands after an intense crossfit workout, that always amazes me I complete
• For yoga communities that I will be joining 
• For photos of new houses from my sister and parents
• For short timelines (1 week till I am back in Kentucky)
• For the promise that living where you are the best you can is the only way to really live at all
• For celebrations of life commitments, Kylie my roommate from Honduras engaged to ShepGoggles (His instagram name I think is funny), Stephanie Riley best friend since middle school engaged to be wed in Guatemala...... So much to look forward to next year.
• For crispy cool mornings 
• Sunrises on runs over Washington park
• Newly mopped hardwood floors 
• Sharing stories about Honduras with others
• Keeping stories to myself inside and reliving them
• For water bottle holders that make it possible to bike with a bottle of wine in tow
• Tears that fall at inappropriate times that take me straight back to that place down South called Honduras
• For talented friends that create art with oil and paints to capture one of my favorite places in the world.

Buena Vista, Colorado Driving past Collegiate Peaks to get coffee in town

Painting of Lago De Yojoa done by the very talented Vinnie Harriety 

Biking to Washington Park with Wine for Jess's Birthday

Vail Racquet Club, Colorado with friends

Late Night training runs with Headlamps in the dark. 

Myself, Stephanie and her now Fiance (Last October when they came to visit in Honduras) 

Born August 15, 2013 at 10:31 Story Rose O'Rourke

Newly Engaged to be wed, Kylie (Rooms from Honduras) and her fiance Shep

My view yesterday morning running from my house....

June 29, 2012 "Chose Adventure"

June 29, 2012, I remember telling my girlfriends at happy hour. In my honor, my best friend ordered a round of tequila for us. Standing at our our spot in the corner of the bar (Someday that spot will be engraved with our names). My best friend Meg stated perfectly.... "Cheers to Kristina for choosing adventure!"

August 23, 2012, I remember sitting with my three bags packed for the next ten months. Sitting in the Denver airport, staring out the window at the snow capped mountains. Smiling. Knowing I really was doing it. Pinching myself a bit to make sure it was real. I really quit my job and am moving to Honduras.

June 9, 2013, in just three weeks time,  I will board a bus to head south to Nicaragua. (then on to Costa Rica). Leaving Honduras. (for now)

In the past ten months I was a second grade teacher, one of the gringo maestros living in Pena Blanca and a roommate to six incredible girls. I jumped from cliffs, rafted down the Rio, sunbathed in Utila and rode the waves in Tela. Kayaked on the Lake, ruin adventured in Copan, did yoga on the beach, at the hacienda, and in the bay islands, shared many a meals with backpackers at the D and D, rode in the back of countless trucks, cooked many family dinners, hiked to waterfalls, spent Thanksgiving in Guatemala and Antigua, celebrated my birthday in Rio Dulce on a pontoon boat, spent many a nights in the dark laughing with my roommates, watched the killing of a mouse, seen too many bats to count, admired the mountains,  loved on orphans, cried tears of frustration, was homesick, and heartbroken grieving the loss of two dear friends. I spent Christmas in the States with my family, vacationed in Mexico in February. Sang countless days of the week, months of the year songs, did hundreds of yoga classes in my rooms and ran miles with Matt around our town. Celebrated birthdays in Tegucigalpa, sat lost in church while they spoke Spanish, hitchhiked, have eaten countless avocados, watermelons, pineapples and Cabbage.

As Meg said it last June, I chose adventure. An adventure is what I was given and yet so much more.

Only three weeks now before this chapter is finished... Have a great Monday. Hope when you get the opportunity you too choose adventure. Cheers

Value in the Parts

The habit of looking to the future and thinking that the whole meaning of the present lies in what it will bring forth is a pernicious one. There can be no value in the whole unless there is value in the parts. – Bertrand Russell

Happy Thursday to you.... Kristina

His Perfect Timing

I am very aware of the reality. The reality of heaven and earth. That this life is temporary. The whole "live life to the fullest" saying. I get it. Our society loves to use this as encouraging words to others. Words to send you on your day. Words to meditate over your morning cup of coffee. I get it. Life that is. Its short. Its not ours to have. Life may go in a moment so you must love others well and live it up.... I do.

Or so I thought I did....

It is with a very heavy heart that I am posting at this moment. Last evening I was sitting eating my dinner reading facebook updates on my phone. Skimming across the latest updates of those near and far  away while mindlessly eating..... scanning away at others pictures and the photo of a friend appeared with a caption. The caption stated "You will be missed. Rest in Peace."

Stunned and shocked I began a frantic search to disprove this photo. As my efforts only confirmed the tragic news, tears began to fall from my face....But how could it be I thought? I just talked to him last Wednesday. We just talked about how I am moving back to Denver. He asked me when? I told him July and he said I should come back sooner. We had just joked about last August when we met. But how could it be true? Its not possible, it must have been a mistake? I thought it must be a mistake and so deeply deeply I wish this were to be true......

Tears have nearly streamed my face for the entire day with the exception of the time i spent with my roommates who shared coffee and yoga for the afternoon. I am going to sleep tonight counting my stars, my blessings and grateful that tommorow is the day that my mom lands in Honduras.

Today in my class, I prayed before my kids left to go home for the day. I do not do this normallay but today I felt compelled. Compelled to give thanks, to ask for the Lords blessing over my kids and those near and dear to me. But most importantly for Justin's family. I am sad, I am heartbroken....... but I am certain my grief does not compare to that of his family. Those that have had to comprehend the loss of someone who they call their son and their brother.

He is deeply and truly missed. To his friends and the ladies in Denver, he was nicknamed "the devil." When we met out with our friends, he told me, "You just cant resist the devil".  I laughed at him but deep down I knew his personality was contagious and his joy for life attractive. He was intentional, thoughtful, funny and made you feel like the most important person in the world. While spending one afternoon laying at pool last August, Justin admitted that he never really saw himself settling down. I told him, "you just wait, someday some girl will come along and that will be it. She will knock you off your feet." In the most honest thoughtful voice, he looked and me and said, "I think I just did."

Thanks for my first motorcycle ride, camping in the backyard and for being someone who lived life with intention and thoughtfulness that was as though you always knew it could be your last.

Miss you a whole bunch

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I can choose to "give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thes.5:18) because I am confident He can see beyond what I can see. Furthermore, if I could see with His eyes I would make the same choice, because God is beyond good...

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Tonight I will sleep knowing that tomorrow I am going to pick my Mom up at the airport. Alison, my mom and I will then go on to visit the public orphanage in San Pedro Sula tomorrow afternoon before we drive an hour and half to my house in Pena Blanca. My mom is visiting until Sunday. I will try and update on her trip, but at the same time I want to be here with her so may recap when she leaves on Sunday.

Thoughts and prayers to you wherever you are... and whatever you are grieving because lets be honest I am certain I am not the only one.

Her Story Full Circle. Aracely

Today her story became full circle......

They were running down the hill towards our van as we came to a stop. Two little girls. One set of bare little feet. One with dirty shoes. Two big smiling faces. They waited as we slid our van door open.

She immediately embraced them in a big hug. I held back tears. I could see the similarities in their faces.... a perfect blend of all three. Those were her sisters.

With the three girls walking hand in hand, Alison and I followed behind up the short hill to their house. Her mom walked out and embraced us with a hand shake and a hug.... her mom welcomed us inside. I sat down the bags of food that I brought for them on the small table inside. Seemed like such a ridiculous gesture.

Sitting on a dirty foam mattress in the corner of a small room. I watched the chicken walk past the door to the outside. The sun was shining through the small door onto a pile of corn shucks that laid across the floor. One table, two dirty foam mattresses and a small bookshelf. That was it. What appeared to be a toilet seat dug into the ground, was just outside the back door. I assumed this must be where they went to the restroom.

I sat and watched as she showed her sisters the stickers and coloring books that she brought for them. They giggled like sisters do. But her face was different. One that seemed a bit reserved. A bit quieter. Of course she was happy to see them but her face was of an older much wiser girl. Not a seven year old girl. In some ways she looked a bit nervous. In so many ways I don't blame her.

Not wanting to leave without seeing her father we decided to walk down to visit her dad at work. Her mom locked up the house with a matchlock to the outside and we all walked down to the futbol (soccer) field where her father worked the grounds. Her sister with her hand around my waist skipped towards the field.

At first sight of her father, I knew exactly who she looked like. Her dad. (just like me). I could see it in their eyes. Made my heart melt. She gave him a big hug and I stood watching their embrace as her sister let go of me and ran to go play.

I thought to myself. 'This was her family. Her mom, her father and her two sisters."

This was their house. It was the house she would have grown up in. The house she left because she was sick. The same house that was unable to provide the nutrients for her to grow up to be strong and healthy. At two years old she left this house. She then lived in the public orphanage. She left the public orphanage to live with Alison at the Eternal Family Project Home. Where she lives now. And every week she sits at a desk in my class. She is one of my 22 second graders.

Aracely my dear, you are stubborn, charming, beautiful and healthy. Thank you for taking me to meet your family. I loved seeing you and your sisters play, giggle and take pictures on my phone.

Mom, Oldest Sister, youngest sister, Aracely and her Dad.

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Today I was privileged to meet Aracely's family in person. We drove around 1 hour and half into the mountain of Santa Barbara to visit for the morning. Her two sisters still live with her parents. Her family now receives assistance through an organization that provides support to families like Aracelys that make around $1.00 a day and are unable to provide food for their kids. Her sisters are healthy (thank goodness, unlike Ara was when she was her sisters age). Aracely currently lives at the Eternal Family Project home. This home takes in girls from all over Honduras that have similar stories as Aracely's. I told Aracely's story first here.  Just one year ago Aracelys mom regained custody of her and asked that she return to live with them in Santa Barabara. Aracely only stayed one week before her mom decided she did not want her to live there with them, so she returned to the Eternal Family Project home. It is always a difficult visit for her as she has not forgotten moving back. As Alison shared with me, Aracely knows that it could happen again should her mom decide.  But today Aracely went home with Alison and I in the van. She calls Alison Mommy. We said goodbye to her sisters as her youngest refused to get out of the van. She always wants to go home with Alison. I turned my head to keep Aracely from seeing the tears that fell from my eyes. Aracely said goodbye and see you soon.

If you would like to help Alison and her mission to provide a loving home for her girls you may visit the website here.

“I was angry because I believed, and still believe, that the God who created the universe did not create too many children in His image and not enough love to go around.”

“I wanted other Americans to know that while their children were alive today, more than 16,000 other children are not, because they died of hunger-related causes in the last twenty-four hours.  I wanted them to know that another 3,000 children in the world, mostly in Africa, will die of malaria today- which is both preventable and treatable.  God wants us to care for the poor, not just care about them, but to truly TAKE CARE of them.  God told us to love our neighbors as ourselves, but so many of our neighbors are starving to death while our tables are filled with abundance.” Kisses from Katie.

One of my kids is Jesus

The title of this post may be a bit strange but I can assure you I have a full explanation for it.

I think God is using one of my kids to teach me how love works. What it means to love unconditionally. What it means to love with no bounds, with no expectations, not tangled up in an agenda or expectation but loving without  any expectation of something coming in return. Loving purely because we are all his children and we all deserve to be loved fully and wholly. Loving because each person is made in the image of the most high king and father. Love with patience. Love boldly and intentionally. Love not because you chose do so, but because he has simply beckoned us to do so.

If I am honest, I do not like it. It is hard. I get angry. This child does not listen, does everything that I ask him not too. He will not sit down for anything. He laughs at discipline and thinks throwing things is funny. There are days, most days actually that I would rather send him out of class then deal with him. There are days that are the best because he is not in class. There are days that he is jumping off his chair and I would not be upset if he got hurt. He gets under your skin and is defiant. He is disruptive and difficult.

But if I am even more honest with myself I know what I am to do......

The more he pushes. Push back with love. Demonstrate through my actions that I have not given up on him. That he matters to me. That I care about the man he is growing up to be. That I want him to learn. That I do not want him to get hurt. Tell him that I care. That I truly deep down love him....... I love him just because the father loved us first and that is it.

It is that simple.

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast,

it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered,it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4