Sunday, June 9, 2013

The Goodbye

I am sitting outside a hostel in Managua, Nicaragua.... it is a bit humid and sticky due to the rain that poured (evidence on the ground below). I am exhausted.  Contemplating even writing this because I am desperate to crawl into my bed, but the ants that were crawling all over the bed upon my arrival have made it less inviting. So alas here I am... beginning my week journey of traveling and then on to yoga school. A whirlwind to say the very least was the past few days so below is a mini recap..... 

Friday...

Time passed and all of a sudden I was handing out the gifts to my kids. My old books. I wrote messages to each of them in the books and watched as they were reading them. I then passed out class pictures and special photos I had printed for them. And then a wave of emotion started.... I fought back the pool of water building in my eyes as I stared out to my class of second graders who in just a few moments would walk out the door and I would not see them again. 

I gave hugs and kissed them. Clung them tight as tears slowly streamed my face. The last ten months just like that. Done and gone. Some of them saying bye and others looking me straight in the eyes and saying, "I am really going to miss you miss." I was heartbroken (still am). If they only knew that I will be missing them that much more. 

I stood in my vacant classroom as the kids all boarded in their buses. Pulling myself together......I sat down to finalize my kids grades and begin working. 

Just getting started I heard Molly ask that I come out of the room because Tiffany a third grader wanted to say goodbye. I turned the corner and there she stood in tears falling from her eyes..... oh No I thought...... I tried to stay strong tell her that it would be ok and she would be getting a new teacher who would be wonderful and that only led her to bawl harder. (wrong thing to say Krisitna). While consoling Tiffany I saw coming up the walkway from the buses, five of my second graders. All in uncontrollable tears. (somehow they were fine saying goodbye in class but got in the bus and could not stop crying). It was the hard to breathe, wailing, crying from their big brown eyes. They ran up to me and I bent down eye level to embrace them. My tears as well began. 

Hardest thing I have ever had to do. Clinging to my side and weeping, they looked at me like, how could you do this???.......how could you go? Broke my heart. 

Friday evening we spent at the D and D for one last hurrah. I said my goodbyes to dear friends, my family and sat around that D and D fire for one last night. On our way home Faye asked to go for one last beer at the small bar in our town so we did. It was all a bittersweet moments.

Saturday morning I hugged my roommates tightly, trying not to cry as I walked out of our house/apartment above the Chinese restaurant one last time. (ps already miss you guys) I then found myself staring out the window of the bus as the clouds moved across the mountains and just over the lake... Tears streamed my face for the entire ride around the lake....

I was so not prepared to leave and am still not. 

I arrived in Tegucigalpa and spent a great day with Fernando in the city. Treated myself to an incredible facial at the Marriott hotel, ate bar nachos and wings while drinking at Happy Hour with Fernando as he we talked about my time here and the future to come for us both.....

Sunday.....  An incredible cup of coffee and I found myself boarding the bus for Nicaragua. Lucky for me I am Fernando's date to a wedding in Denver August 24 so our goodbye was not so emotional (although he will be missed.)

The bus here was not bad, just long...... at the Nicaraguan border they require a search of bags and so it was a bit annoying to unload them and wait in line to get them checked but was more or less pretty seamless  For lunch I had a sprite and cashews. So needless to say I was very hungry when I arrived here. I did meet a girl from Scotland traveling alone and managed to meet a group that I had met previously last fall at the D and D who work outside of Tegucigalpa on our bus as well. (random). The bus left at 9 am and arrived just after 5:00...... It was a long day.... 

So far my thoughts on Nicaragua.....Volcanos are everywhere across the skyline... a strange beautiful scene.

Pretty sure I just got shocked on my computer cable due to water so I think that must mean it is time to sleep. Tomorrow I am bound for San Juan del Sur... Warmest to you.

Love Kristina

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