Saturday, February 9, 2013

He is proud. He is good.

Saturday morning..... sounds like we live in a bird cage. I think they must be having a bird gathering (whatever birds do when they get together) where they are practicing their latest tunes. It is so loud and sounds like they are singing next to your ear. 

Yesterday morning my roommate and I woke up to the sound of a creature above our heads. Our room has ceiling tiles as the direct ceiling above us and then in-between the ceiling tiles is a large gap before the roof. The roof is just simply covered with sheets of tin. So this morning we realized that the creature, sounded rather large, was walking on top of the ceiling tiles and could drop down into our room at any moment through the large hole that is above my bed.... thank goodness he/she went away. Fingers crossed he is gone for good.

This morning I am going to be spending my time planning for my roommates so they have activities to cover while I am gone. I fly out Thursday morning for Texas to then go on to Mexico with my family for a week. I can hardly believe it already February 9, 2013. A year ago today I would have been curled up at my one bedroom apartment, maybe gone to yoga, then maybe be going skiing. How different a year changes. How different we are.

I have been giving a lot of thought to what life looks like when I leave here. I have mentioned this before and still seem to struggle to come to terms with what is ahead. Yesterday while talking to Philip he said, "Why cant things just be simpler, life would be so much nicer." Giving this some attention I thought to myself and replied, "Yea but then that wouldn't be life at all."

I have come to accept that the anticipation of things and the planning is often what holds back from experiencing the life in the now moments. We are often waiting for "life to happen" and fail to see that it is all happening right now.

So in the moments today, in the anticipation of Thursday, in self doubts of my future, I am going to try my very best, to relax, take a deep breath and see all that God is doing in the now. In me. Trusting that he is shaping, molding and making me into the Kristina he wants for tomorrow and that future self  must endure today.

"You are this woman that he deeply loves, and already has given his life for. He smiles when he sees you walk to class, and he cries when he sees your pain. He knows that as you grow he will teach you about your worth and beauty, and will show you that you are made in his image. I pray that you can begin to understand God as this kind of Father, for I know that he looks at you like that kind of daughter."(taken from here )

-----Written from a place that is incredibly grateful for even the smallest of things and my prayers are that you to are shown the truth that he has made you in his image. Made you in an image that he is proud of. He is proud. He is good...... love kristina

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