Wednesday thoughts....

First week back I knew would be a challenge but I was not prepared for this. I think my kids forgot how to act, how to behave, or maybe they are just being seven and eight year olds...  At one point yesterday I walked out of the classroom to avoid breaking down even more than I already had. Out of complete frustration. Had to hold back from breaking down in tears..... They make it so very impossible some days.......

However last night I was able to connect with a dear friend, laugh about our past and smile about many things to come...... for that I am very grateful. We shared joy in her recent engagement and I attempted to admire her beautiful ring through our blurry computer screen. (Dearest Meg and Rory I am so excited for you both and grateful Meg that you met a man who will love you well for the rest of your days, so look forward to celebrating in Colorado in July).....I am as well looking forward to my mom visiting Honduras (fingers crossed she is coming). I am patiently waiting as she secures her flight and excited to share with someone why this place has been my home for a year, to see what I see, to see what an incredible, yet incredibly frustrating place this is.....Hope she knows what she is in store for...

Heres to hoping and praying on this Wednesday. From my desk in my room.... (pardon my messy table) I am double tasking Louisville game and grading second grade math.... warmest to you...

I am listening to this song over and over again.... Enjoy...

I could just sit

I could just sit and wait for all your goodness

Hope to feel your presence

And I could just stay

I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel you

Hope to feel something again

And I could hold on

I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside

And I could be safe

I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home

Never let these walls down

But you have called me higher

You have called me deeper

And I will go where you will lead me

-------lyrics from All Sons and Daughters, Called Higher........ reflecting on waiting on God.

Home Again. Yoga School Pura Vida Costa Rica!?!

I am home. Honduras home again. The next time I board a plane I will be heading to the States for good. In many ways I look forward to that day in July but in so many more ways, it feels really good to be home in Honduras. After waiting a few moments for my taxi at the airport this afternoon, I heard my name called from across the airport.  After confirming that the voice was in fact trying to get my attention, I recognized friends of mine. (they were dropping someone off at the airport). 

It is so nice to call this place home and even more special to have someone call my name just as I landed.

Today Colorado is a blanket of white snowy goodness.... snow that makes it impossible to leave your house and as my friends used to say, it is "hunker down" weather. Where you hunker down in the house, with good food, wine, lots of movies and good company. My old house in Washington Park was a place that holds so many memories of these kind of days. Days when we would have snowball fights that proceeded through our front door, walking to Starbucks up the road through feet of snow, or walking to see if the bar up the road was still open. I miss this more than you know. I have envy at every picture someone posts of the inches that have accumulated on porches, posts about flights cancelled, and the ski slopes that are filled with fresh powder. I received an email from a friend, that said, "I am in Beaver Creek and its dumping!" What this girl would give to snap my fingers and be there right now. 

But tonight I am back in my bed in Pena Blanca... and my kids will be waiting for me tomorrow. I spent the afternoon doing yoga with my roommates in the every increasing temperate of our room, unpacked my things and bought fruit and vegetables for the week. Looking back on the previous week with my family in Cabo San Lucas I have decided it will most certainly be one of the most treasured trips we have ever taken. Not to bore you with a giant recap, just know that lots of sun, lots of coffee, lots of bloody Marys, beach yoga, yummy dinners, euchre, whale watching for the pacific life commercial, massages, facials including dad, our own pool, margaritas ..... but best of all seven days with my parents, my sister and her husband. (even extended when Josh and Britt got to stay till Sunday in Houston).

As for other news, I am beyond excited to announce that I am attending yoga teacher training in Costa Rica following the end of the school year. For 28 days I will be attending an intensive teacher training to be certified to teach Ashtanga Vinyasa and Hot Yoga. More details I will share later but after lots of research I found this to be a perfect fit for the type of yoga I want to teach and what better location than Costa Rica..... So from June 15- July 11 I will be in yoga school (Sounds funny).

Hello Textbooks.... more on there way. more fun doctor school i think :)

Night yall..... staying up later than planned. My roommate came running in to give me a hug at my bed. Feels good to be here, inspite of all the other places I wish could be too.....

I like this quote below..... Charles Spurgeon is good for that....

"There are no measures which can set forth the immeasurable greatness of Jehovah, who is goodness itself... Notes of exclamation suit us when words of explanation are of no avail. If we cannot measure we can marvel; and though we may not calculate with accuracy, we can adore with fervency." Charles Spurgeon

Cabo Wabo Silence

The quiet blog is because I am sitting below..... Soaking up the time with my family for a week in Cabo San Lucas Mexico. I am back to Honduras on Sunday. Hope you have a wonderful week.

Life is made up of minute parts.......

My roommates often poke fun of my blog... I catch them reading it throughout different times of the day... they are often providing commentary, spotting grammatical errors and giving me a hard time because I either mentioned them or I did not.

My immediate reaction is to apologize for mistakes or give a disclaimer to everyone reading that if my blog makes you angry because here I am teaching English and I clearly struggle writing well so I am sorry.... But........ I am not going too. Take it or leave it, I write as I often think,  rolling out of my head and my heart, onto my laptop so that my family and friends know that I am ok and so they may hear the ramblings of my day and to day. More than any of that, this is my place to process all that has happened and all that is happening right in front of my face..... so i do hope you enjoy. I suppose if you don't, you certainly do not hurt my feelings if you don't read... :)

As for now..... one of my roommates (kylie is fast asleep in bed), I hear Faye and Alison laughing while doing Billy Blanks Tye Bo in the other room, there is a giant ant crawling next to my foot, I just swatted a mosquito off my arm and I am avoiding my room because the rat/mouse (More like the size of a rat) is dancing on the ceiling tiles in my bathroom and I want NOTHING to do with him/her. Yes you can hear her/him from my bed.

 I should have taken a picture of this this morning but two days he/she has taken a big chunk out of our avocados... lesson learned= avocados now go in the fridge... Its like his little foot scraped into it and ate it. really really really gross.

My kids today were hilarious.... we had a great day, talked about how I will be gone starting thursday for one week. With big smiles on their faces the boys did some fist pumps and most of the girls were yelling,  "NO MISS" I promised them I will return and that they better be on their best behavior for the teachers covering my classes or else I will give them so much homework they wont be allowed to go outside..... (Smiling while saying this, kidding of course).

I also had a big discussion about how I have eyes in the back of my head so when I am writing on the board I know what they are doing.... they think it is the greatest thing. (they do not believe it to be true). Although 9 times out of 10 I have made a guess at who is causing the commotion behind me and I am right...I do this just because they think it is the funniest thing in the world. They called me an alien in Spanish. I dont remember what the word is... but it was pretty funny.

Finalizing their grades for the second term I have realized how much progress some of them have made..... to say I am proud would be an understatement. I have complete conversations with most of my kids now and I forget that this did not happen in August. I am taking deep breaths about the fact that when I come back from the States/Mexico it will be February 24th. With only four days left in the month of February. (WHAT THE HE&%????) Come March we go on a Visa trip run to Guatemala, Jason departs for good, my best friends Birthday Christie Lee is the 25th and then we go on Spring Break in Utila. (honduran bay island). We come back from all of that and have about 9 weeks left till the end of school. Thats it.

Tonight I am going to bed overwhelmed with the thought, " Am I really going to move back to Kentucky and leave Colorado?"...... I am going to try and get some sleep. Thinking about it brings upon a wave of emotion I dont even know where to begin processing and even more so makes me doubt that I ever thought that this was a good idea to begin with.

All of this is I know is so trivial to the family that is screaming from outside my window, that sleeps in a house that seems to barely stand up and the two sweet girls in wheel chairs at the orphanage yesterday that have big smiles on their faces and dont live as though they were abandoned and rejected by their families.... it is all so trivial..... sleep well to all of you .....warmest kristina

“The whole of the life -- even the hard -- is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole. These are new language lessons, and I live them out. There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up.” 
― Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

Sunday

The weekend... has come and gone. This Sunday may go on record as one of the most productive in a while and a day I can scratch off more of my twenty wishes that I want to accomplish come December of this year.

Below is a updated:

7. Visit an Orphanage at least once a month (whether I am in Honduras or anywhere)

• • December 1, 2012 San Pedro Sula
• • December 8, 2012 Pena Blanca
• • January 28, 2013 Pena Blanca
• • February 10, 2013 Pena Blanca
• • March
• • April
• • May
• • June
• • July 
• • August
• • September
• • October
• • November
1. Read four Jane Austen Novels (Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Northanger Abbey, Mansfield Park)
2. Complete 30 days straight of yoga

After an early night Saturday I woke up on my own around 6 am this morning. Our early morning habit of waking up for school must be to blame. Kylie, Rose and I did yoga at 7:30 for an hour while the rest of our house stayed in bed. With a cup of coffee I then grabbed my book and finished Pride and Prejudice. I am a big fan of the movie and the book was even better than I could have hoped. One of my favorite quotes, (Cheesy a bit but I like it still.)

"In vain have I struggled, it will not do. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." 

Anticipating a very very hot day I set out for a walk/run by myself for an hour after I finished my book. It was really nice to be out and get some time to just be out of our house, alone. When I returned home a few of us had made a plan to head to the orphanage in town to hang with the kids around 3. 

In between the time I spent the rest of my day at the coffee shop in town planning for my kids while I am gone and finalizing all their grades. I was dreading this, so I am glad that i am most of the way finished.

At the orphanage today I learned that my favorite little one, Arturo, has two siblings  This is quite the news to hear considering I want to take him home with me.  Seeing as this is the case than I must take all three...... I will have to make it work. Arturo was just as cute as I remember. Most of the time I was swinging on the swings while the kids pushed me or I was pushing them. It was really nice to spend the afternoon playing on the playground.

We had a successful family dinner tonight, prepared by Kylie and Jason. They served chicken sandwiches with special cranberry mayonnaise (a Upstate New York favorite) and chocolate cream cheese cupcakes (kylies special recipe). Family dinner, is my favorite tradition that we have. We make a point each week to eat dinner together (all the teachers + Jason). By random drawing you are paired up with someone to cook and you are responsible for the menu, any drink items, decorations etc. Tonight was the last night of this round so we redrew names and made a new calender. Next weekend I will be away and others are traveling so we will start back up the following week. I am paired with Faye and Jason and we are serving on March 20, 2013. Right before our Spring Break trip and before Jason's departure. Lots of time to plan for a final farewell to Jason.

All of this to say that after a day of yoga, a run, finishing my book, lesson planning, orphanage visit, family dinner and finalizing grades I am going to sleep. Its going to be a busy week, a short one too. I am Houston bound Thursday morning and then on to Mexico Friday. Yippee :) Just a little excited!

Night to you.....

He is proud. He is good.

Saturday morning..... sounds like we live in a bird cage. I think they must be having a bird gathering (whatever birds do when they get together) where they are practicing their latest tunes. It is so loud and sounds like they are singing next to your ear. 

Yesterday morning my roommate and I woke up to the sound of a creature above our heads. Our room has ceiling tiles as the direct ceiling above us and then in-between the ceiling tiles is a large gap before the roof. The roof is just simply covered with sheets of tin. So this morning we realized that the creature, sounded rather large, was walking on top of the ceiling tiles and could drop down into our room at any moment through the large hole that is above my bed.... thank goodness he/she went away. Fingers crossed he is gone for good.

This morning I am going to be spending my time planning for my roommates so they have activities to cover while I am gone. I fly out Thursday morning for Texas to then go on to Mexico with my family for a week. I can hardly believe it already February 9, 2013. A year ago today I would have been curled up at my one bedroom apartment, maybe gone to yoga, then maybe be going skiing. How different a year changes. How different we are.

I have been giving a lot of thought to what life looks like when I leave here. I have mentioned this before and still seem to struggle to come to terms with what is ahead. Yesterday while talking to Philip he said, "Why cant things just be simpler, life would be so much nicer." Giving this some attention I thought to myself and replied, "Yea but then that wouldn't be life at all."

I have come to accept that the anticipation of things and the planning is often what holds back from experiencing the life in the now moments. We are often waiting for "life to happen" and fail to see that it is all happening right now.

So in the moments today, in the anticipation of Thursday, in self doubts of my future, I am going to try my very best, to relax, take a deep breath and see all that God is doing in the now. In me. Trusting that he is shaping, molding and making me into the Kristina he wants for tomorrow and that future self  must endure today.

"You are this woman that he deeply loves, and already has given his life for. He smiles when he sees you walk to class, and he cries when he sees your pain. He knows that as you grow he will teach you about your worth and beauty, and will show you that you are made in his image. I pray that you can begin to understand God as this kind of Father, for I know that he looks at you like that kind of daughter."(taken from here )

-----Written from a place that is incredibly grateful for even the smallest of things and my prayers are that you to are shown the truth that he has made you in his image. Made you in an image that he is proud of. He is proud. He is good...... love kristina

Honduran Breakfast

I have been meaning to capture all that these kids eat for breakfast. I am missing quite a few common things they consume for breakfast but have a good variety for you too see. Yes this is the norm. Yes this is what the kids have every day. Pizza anyone? fried chicken? French fries? Pancakes? (sort of normal). Cereal (very uncommon to see). Baleadas? (beans and cheese in a tortilla).

Enjoy. 

USA vs. HON

Caleb from my class this morning said "Miss, Miss...... Honduras 2, USA 1" I just smiled and he did as well only about a mile wide long.

Yesterday after an early 4:30 am yoga with Kylie and school we left at 12:00 pm for San Pedro Sula, which according to most newspapers in the US is one of the deadliest cities in the world......We were heading to watch the USA men face Honduras in the first of many coming up world cup qualifying games. I have never been to a national futbol (soccer) match before and was not sure what I would be in for.

I will try and paint a picture for you.....Our van piled with ten of us, approached the city and we were bombarded with people on the street selling t-shirts, flags and tickets along the road. They approach your car and if your window is down, they will go as far to lean in to show you the merchandise they have for sale. The streets as we approached the stadium were full of people, all dressed in blue and white. There is no parking lot, no man charging to park, no twenty dollar lot. You park where you find a space. We jumped out of the van, at what seemed like a good spot to try and find the entrance to the game. We held seats in "sol" meaning sun. We did not have assigned seats, it was merely concrete steps that was on a first come first seat kind of basis. We found an empty row sat down and soaked it all in. Including the sun. The game was scheduled by Honduras on purpose at 3pm during the warmest part of the day and most humid. It was nearly 90 degrees F yesterday.

The stadium is nothing fancy, it looks in some parts that it may fall down, the scoreboard did not work and there were no concessions. The vendors walking through the stands were selling everything from fried chicken, to bubble gum, to mangoes, to beer, to coca cola out of a two liter from a guy that had a stack of cups. All of these all people simply bought tickets to the game and brought along with them food and drinks to sell. You could buy just about anything you could think of. People smoke in the stands. If you have ever watched world cup soccer on TV you notice the rather annoying sound of the horns/ noise maker/ something that some genius created long ago. You could buy those too and people did.

All in all the game reminded me why I love sports and as well why sometimes I care too much. In my list of favorite sports i will admit soccer is not far up on my list. If it were not for my dear roommate in college playing and then being the statistician for the men and women's teams during my undergraduate years... I cant say I would even know that much about the game. I can only name a few players on the USA National team and outside of that, my soccer knowledge is often limited to those players that have taken their fame to model for fashion designers (AKA David Beckham or Christiano Ronaldo)

But despite my small appreciation for futbol, the atmosphere and the loyalty to the Honduran national team is something that I was proud to be apart of. I was disappointed the USA did not win but being in the stadium when Honduras scored is something that even some of my most favorite sports memories would rival against. Beer flying/ spraying/ people taking shirts off/ horns blowing/ dancing/ loud music. They truly celebrate and as they should. They won outright and it was really great to be there. Here are some pictures below.

waiting in the line to go in...

bathrooms. seriously. no doors. no toilet paper. no soap.

pick a seat any seat

GOAL

after the game. chaos.

waiting on our pickup

We got home around 9 and I was more than ready to curl up in bed for todays early wakeup call.

Here are a few highlights from my week with my kids. Yesterday they started singing our Christmas song "Deck the Halls", mid class. This is the song we sang for the Christmas concert. They all sang, sitting in their seats and I stood at the board and smiled. Nearly cried. Not sure how I am going to ever say goodbye. For no reason at all they just sang. I loved every second of it.

As well we did board races in math. Meaning, two people go up front and race for who can do a math problem the quickest. We played boys vs. girls. It was great. The boys won.

For now I am off to bed. Long day and could not be more pleased tomorrow is Friday. I have a lot of planning to do, final grade reports, and getting together for a Valentines Dinner that I am having for my roommates Wednesday night before I leave.

Warmest from Honduras.

DAY 30!

Sunday I posted after I got home from our girls weekend in Copan and I promised a recap soon but I think this may have to wait yet again.... I promise soon.

Yesterday I accepted the reality that my kids are going to break my heart. Break my heart as in leaving them may quite possibly be the hardest thing I have ever done. I stood next to one of the boys today and he seemed as though he had grown a foot this year. They are getting bigger, smarter, sweeter, more of pain and I love them more every day...... Hoping this Tuesday they choose the latter.

As well tomorrow we are heading to the USA Honduras World Cup Qualifying match in San Pedro. So excited. Although for safety reasons I think I will try and downplay my USA excitement. Seeing as San Pedro has one of the worst homicide rates in the world, I figured I better play it safe.

In regards to this posts title, today is.... DAY 30. I am sorry if I have been quite annoying with my yoga postings but I can say after today I did it. I really did 30 days of straight yoga. For questions on which pod casts I have been using, you may send me an email and I am happy to share. I required that in order for yoga to count for the day I had to practice for at least 20 minutes. This has been on my list of things to do this year... See this old post here. And I did.

Cheers to the last 30 days, to one 4:30 am yoga session before school, to my room being filled with six of us doing it together, to practicing by myself, to practicing at Copan overlooking the valley, to it being the last thing I could have possibly wanted to do that day, to practicing at the D and D Brewery, to Kylie who as also joined me in the 30 day challenge, to feeling stronger, to feeling more relaxed, to feeling healthier and to making it habit I look forward too... Here's to you the past 30 days! Yay! Yay!

I am going to finish up with a bang, Kylie, Matt, Me and perhaps Faye and Lotte will be joining as well for an hour final session today. (although I am not sure this is it. I am not sure if I will be taking a break or not?)

Here are a few pictures that have been taken over the last few days. Enjoy.

Happy tuesday yall.
Warmest Kristina

Sunday

tired. a bit discouraged about things. but hey that's life isn't it. i will recap my weekend with the girls perhaps tomorrow but for now I have given up on streaming the super bowl after a frustrating first half of delays.

here is small recap of where I am at right now:

my rain coat- its dying. or should i say it is dead. the seams are ripping apart. Patagonia you know that you hold a special place in my heart and i love all of your things but you have disappointed me. the rainy season that was supposed to have passed is still here and my rain coat pardon my french just sucks.

my pack. my backpacking/ survival bag while living in central America has fallen apart on the side. the frame is poking out. this is the bag I am to travel with for semana santa, the bag to get my things home in, the bag I am to be traveling with for two weeks in june. sigh.

two weeks. one week from Thursday i will be flying to Houston to meet my parents and then on to Mexico for a week. i am counting down like its Christmas. all I imagine is the sun, some relaxation and my family not much more i need. as well spending valentines day in Houston with my parents. knowing my mom will have valentine chocolate for me to indulge in, scattered in bowls on the counter. yep you would be excited too. to this hallmark holiday thanks for the good candy.

day 28. yes that was today. day 28 straight of yoga. ahem ahem. almost there.

bus ride today. long, tiring. my roommate got sick (made it in a bag though). one coach bus. one chicken bus, raining. lots of people. central American roads, long day of travel.

school. got good news about going back for my masters. happy joy. now if only i could decide to do so.

monday. so not ready for you tomorrow. homesick today. missing the super bowl. missing my house in college where we made way too much food, crammed so many people in to watch the game. missing my roommates that care about football as much as I do.

louisville basketball. the boys are back. keep it up. looking good today.

cheers to a new week.