Not ready to say goodbye....

My thoughts on leaving Honduras and saying goodbye to my kids....

"Except I am the woman with the issue of doubt. I am the woman with the issue of sin, with the issue of flesh, with the issue of forgetfulness. I am a woman who wants to snap my arms shut and protect, fold my arms tight around this chest to guard my heart that is still so raw and exposed from being broken. I want to gather these children to myself and shelter them from the ugly hurt of this world."

I so desperatley do wish I could protect my kids from pain, from hurt and be here always to protect them, to teach them and to be certain they grow up to become people of integrity... Suppose it is a bit like a parent watching your children move away or move away to school. You wish you could hold on to them forever... seems safer that way. Yet we must let go. 

I am certain it may very well be the hardest thing I have ever had to do....

Happy rainy monday afternoon from Honduras....

Henry

Faye on Honduras

                                       

                                                                  Name:  Faye Morris
                                                              From:  London, England

                                                                 Taught:  1st Grade A

Our first night in our house together...  in our giant apartment/ house above the chinese restaurant we drank two beers and toasted to the ten months that laid before us. Now within a few days is the end of that ten months. Cheers to you Faye, for becoming not only one of my dearest friend but as well sharing your room with me. I will never forget you telling the story how your kids were instructed to draw a picture of something heavy, when you could not recognize the picture and you asked your student what they drew, your little first grader happily replied, "It's you miss!". I only hope one day my children have a teacher just like you. You will be an incredible teacher wherever you are. I so look forward to our New York trip reunion in our future (or visiting you in London) Love you!

Our house the first night....

Here below are Faye's thoughts about our time in Honduras. Enjoy!

Looking back the one thing I will never forget about Honduras is:  Just how beautiful this place is. A million times more beautiful than all the other countries in Central America (although I may be a little biased) but nobody comes here! It's easy to forget how beautiful it is but then something takes your breath away. I love how the mountains always look blue and you can always hear birds, any time of the day. I love how diverse it is, from the Bay Islands to the big cities, it never disappoints. Niether words nor photos can do this place justice."

My favorite thing I did while living in Honduras was: Rio Dulce Part One- there'e no better way to spend a day than getting drunk on boat in great company. Starting on the booze so early, the sun shining, everybody getting along, the pineapple juice, the coconuts, Livingstone, the hair braids, talking about the meaning of life with Matt in the sun, hot springs, breaking the boat, the spectacular sunset, margaritas, dancing, singing. Perfect day with the best of friends.

The thing I will miss the most is: Definitely my kids. Even when they've been horrendous I can't be mad for long because they're just too cute. 

Thanks for everything.... Love Kristina

Molly on Honduras

First Name: Molly (or Miss, I forget!)   
Where you are from: Hogwarts, England

Grade you taught: 3rd

                        

Molz as I often called her. Creative, crafty and always up for anything. I am so grateful that Molly was here for this year and happy to know my kids will be loved on by her next year. She will be their third grade teacher! (As well a Midlands trip is in my future)

Read below a few of Molly's thoughts on our time in Honduras.....

"Looking back the one thing I will never forget about Honduras is, How quickly and dramatically it shifted my priorities and outlook on life. I know that from now on I will be forever telling people about “when I lived in Honduras…”. And I will never get sick of sharing the stories (although I’m sure some will be sick of hearing them!)

"The thing I will miss the most isn’t a thing, but the people; most specifically the children. I spend my days at school teaching 48 fabulously exuberant kiddies, and even on the most testing of days, I still feel so blessed to have the little monkeys in my life. Then there are the kids from Cañaveral, the orphanage and Alison’s girls. They have all shaped my experience here, so I’m going to miss each of them terribly."

"If I were to sum up this past year in one word it would be: Transcendent (.....or unicorn if I’m being flippant)"

Love you lots Molly!

Roommate Special Posts

"I have a dream too, but it's about singing and dancing and making people happy. It's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And I found a whole group of friends who have the same dream, and that makes us sort of like a family."

--"The Muppet Movie" 

This weekend we went to Tela (the beach on the Caribbean coast). Our special place as I like to call it.  We spent our final weekend together relaxing on the beach, sharing meals and sun bathing. It is now storming outside (rainy season has officially begun) and we are all in our beds, exhausted.

Five days are left in school. On Saturday I will say goodbye. We are all departing at different times, others traveling for a few days before catching their flights near and far.

This week I will be posting a lot. A lot of reflections, thoughts, and final remarks. It is very hard to believe this is coming to an end.

In addition to my posts I will be sharing this week, there will be special posts that include reflections from some of my roommates. I asked everyone to answer the below questions. I read the answers on Friday night over dinner. I thought this would be a good way to share more about our time together. As well you have probably had enough of my ramblings: Below are the questions...

1. Looking back the one thing I will never forget about Honduras is:

2. My favorite thing I did while living in Honduras was:

3. The thing I will miss the most is:

4. What I learned while living here:

5. If I could pick one thing that if I had the option to change, it would have been..... (could be something that happened, where we lived, how we lived, what you taught? anything)

6. If I were to sum up this past year (or 5 months for Kylie and Rose) in one word it would be:

So to kick off these special posts read the first one featuring Molly here. Enjoy!

277 days....

What I crave at this very moment is piece of chocolate cake, paired with a latte sprinkled with cinnamon on top. Perhaps sitting in a comfy chair, surrounded by blankets, with my friends and family around. I would like the snow to be falling outside. Taking in each bite and soaking in every person around me as the blanket of snow fell outside.

Instead at this moment I sit inside a school, with a tin roof above my head, waiting the arrival of twenty two second graders. Waiting for them to run up the path with their book bags trailing behind, their hair gelled in perfect place, white shirts on. Boys in blue pants and girls in knee high white socks and braided hair. The sun is already shining brightly, proof of another hot and humid day ahead. The bugs land on my arm as I type and drink my coffee out of a plastic cup.

It is May 30, 2013. Exactly 277 days ago I arrived in Honduras to teach for one year. Today I sit waiting to begin my very last full day teaching. The remaining six days of school will finish at noon. And then next Saturday I will leave.

You can only imagine the emotional weight of this reality.

So in an effort to live out the words that I had placed above my bed. "Wherever you are be all there" I am going to try and be present today. Be here in this place. Soaking up each second, each smile, each tear, and every word that my kids say. When Caleb is out of his chair for the tenth time today, I hope I am able to be patient, and calmly ask he sit down. I want to laugh when they say something funny and not be frustrated when they speak out of turn. I just want to be here. No place else today.

How nice it would be to be in more than a few places at the same time in life. Be here to watch my little second graders grow up. See who they become in days and years to come.

How grateful I would be to be at home in Kentucky today, to stand alongside my very best friend from growing up as she says goodbye to her grandfather (who I too dearly loved).

But instead I am here. And I know that  in a few days time, I will be wishing I were back here again.

So I hope you too find that wherever you are, you know that you are exactly where God had you be today. I hope you too don't miss it. Don't miss why he had you where you are.

But instead "Wherever you are, be all there"

Four Letters to People....

I consider it a good rule for letter-writing to leave unmentioned what the recipient already knows, and instead tell him something new.  ~Sigmund Freud

I have been giving a lot of thought to my time in Honduras... the time that has passed and the very people that played a role in me coming in the first place. So here below are three special letters to people, enjoy:
___________________________________

Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you for never doubting my decision. For your support while your daughter yet again moved and quit her job. For looking me in my eyes with nothing but love. For  offering up anything you could, asking questions about this new adventure, for facetime dates and for making my welcome home at Christmas incredible. For knowing this was on my heart and encouraging me to go for it. I will be eternally grateful for your unwavering love and support for me to run after the things I love and that regardless of the outcome you are there right alongside me.

Love Bean
____________________________________

Dear Roommates,

You may very well get the biggest letter but I reckon you might get tired of reading, so I will try to be brief. You already know that you have become my sisters here. Thanks for drinking wine on a Monday night because we needed it, for teaching me englishisms (fancy, rubbish, swimming costume, fags), for putting up with my love to clean (your often disappearing cups that I have already washed),  for laughing with me about this place (animals in our house, the boys, continuous floods), dealing with my cabbage obsession, for being honest, for covering my classes when I was sick (way to many times in a row and when I went on holiday with my family), for sharing your food. Alison thank you for the popcorn. Faye thank you for being an expert bartender. Thanks for doing yoga with me, making sure I was not the only person that would complain about no water, freezing cold water, how hot the water was or our broken refrigerator. For laughing about the flooded house, the mice, the rubbish that never got picked up for our first month and the rainy cold November. For knowing exactly how I felt and empathizing. For often saying something to pick me up and not saying anything when you know that is what I needed most.

There is barely a memory that you were not apart of and for that I owe you the biggest thanks. Thanks for the laughs, the joy and you can be certain I will miss you dearly.

The original four, Alison (South Africa) Molly (England), Me, Faye (England)

 Me, Faye (England), Kate (Georgia), Molly (England), Alison (South Africa)

Rose (Georgia), Molly, Alison, Me//// Kylie (Arkansas), Me

____________________________________

Dear Ramon and Lot,

Thank you for always smiling when we walk to your counter at the D and D sometimes more than a handful of times in a week. For being friends that never complained about the many times we talked about school. Lotte for loving yoga and for all the many times that we practiced together, it was such a nice escape to come to your house and get away. 
You have made your way into the top of my list of favorite people I have ever met. Your selflessness, honesty, joy for life and compassion for people is unlike anyone I have met before. You will be surely missed. So look forward to seeing where you go in your future.

Love Kristina

______________________________________

To blog readers and followers,

Thank you for your support and love. For the countless comments, for reading, for laughing, for praying and for loving my kids as much as I do. I cannot tell you how much the notes mean, and knowing that someone else cares. For those of you that I did not know even read this thing, I am grateful you do. Sorry for the grammar mistakes and often rambling thoughts.... Hope you have enjoyed :) (Ps its not over yet) As well friends who have taken the time to facetime, or skype or play email pin pals thank you too!


Now on for my last Tuesday full of classes, next week is exams.... Love Me

See previous Letter posts here:

Letters December 

Letters January

Letters March

Letters April

Letters May

Love Letter to My Kids

Singing Pitbull with my Kids and Sweet Wine

Did you know that birds still sing in the rain..... Its pouring outside at this very moment and the birds are still singing. A bit of a cheesy metaphor but I like it.... do you still find joy when life comes raining down on you...... (Ok really cheesy)

It often sounds as though we live in a bird sanctuary here.... there is one bird that makes a sound as though he is whistling at you..... you know what I mean the low pitch, then high pitch... "Hey girl" kind of whistle. I told Alison that it makes me laugh every time.  I like to think that the bird is whistling at me. As though he is looking at me through the window saying good morning..... :)

Today was one of those days I am certain I will not forget. My kids did an activity where they wrote letters to their future third grade teacher (next year)......Introducing themselves, what class is their favorite, what they do not like, what they look forward to learning in third grade and their favorite candy (just in case the teacher wants to buy it for them). I enjoyed reading my kids replies and basically learned that their favorite part of this year was Art and Physical Education. They dont like English and cant wait to learn about Art in third grade :) too funny.

As my kids worked on their letters I played DJ and took musical requests..... Daddy Yankee, Sexy and I know it, Lord I lift your name on high, Don't Stop the Party, One Direction.... (quite the selection, and yes they knew all the words). So funny to watch as my kids sing..... and dance

The rain is pouring down..... Faye and I are drinking this horrible sweet Malbec wine (WHO ON EARTH MADE SWEET MALBEC???). I saw Malbec and purchased it. But I failed to read the part that said Dulce Natural (Sweet Natural).......epic fail. It is gross. But it was ten dollars of my very large teacher salary so we will drink it anyway....

Happy Monday to you....