A letter to myself on my Birthday

To My 27th Self on your Birthday,

Today you rest your head more than you wish you had to. You have two tubes coming out of the sides of your body, bottles of medicine and a cup of coffee in your hand. I know full well how difficult this is for you but trust me that it is just a day, just a moment and it too shall pass. Perhaps a quiet simple birthday is just what the doctor ordered (pun intended). I decided for your birthday I would write you a letter. An ode to the year ahead and my hopes for you. Today on your birthday may you trust more than ever, that the days to come will bring more joy, more peace, more tears but above all more goodness, God's goodness in your life. 

May this year you grant yourself grace. Grace to fall to your knees, in tears over what is to come. May you allow the tears to fall in the most unlikely of places, in front of the most unlikely of people. Will you let others wipe the tears. Will you grieve. Allow yourself to grieve.

Will you move towards others, inviting others to this story. Know that you cannot do this alone. Know that this is not how God intended our lives to be lived...... alone. You are in this with others, so allow others in. 

Will you dare great things, will you follow your heart to the deep ends of the earth. Go on adventures, plan a trip and have adventures in the spaces that you occupy. Adventure doesn't have to mean a passport stamp but challenging yourself beyond your limits. This year do just that. Dare greatly.

With the same intention you seek great things, will you protect your heart? You are created to be something great, crafted and designed with unique intention. Trust that intention, trust your heart. Care for your heart because it is all you have, you only get one. Boundaries are ok and you have permission to create some.

Will you slow down. Slow down to look strangers in the eyes. But more than that, slow down for yourself. So much life passes in your rushing. One of your favorite quotes says, "I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing." Look at what you do this year and the intention behind it. Delight in the things you want to do, not those things you think you must do. 

Be patient, there will be days you wish that weren't there, days you wish you didn't have to walk through. But trust. Trust that the walking through the hard is still moving to something good. 

Love yourself especially your body. Your body is going to change. It looks different today and it will look different tomorrow. Honor your body for being strong, for battling disease and for fighting back. Allow your body to heal, to change and to be what it is, the living and breathing life that means you are still here. Rest in that. And if it shall come that you lose your hair believe youre still beautiful even if it is the hardest thing to do. Believe it to be true...... 

Above all of these things I hope this year you move towards Jesus. Know that he wrote this story long before you were born and trust he is still writing..... I hope this year you go to him for answers, in your anger, in your joy, in your fear and in your heartache.... 

"Gods purposes in present grief may not be fully known in a week, in a year or even in this lifetime." Wayne Gordem

This year may you know friendship, community and the grace that is granted even in the midst of hard. This year will be hard, but never forget that it will be good. It is destined to be good. Because God is always good. "He is showing you what love really looks like and he is building a depth of beauty into your story that life without suffering you would never have known." Kara Tippetts

Seek joy this year and love all that is the next year..... even the very hard that is breaking your heart in this moment. And smile lots, everyone loves a good smile and you have a good one, even when you have cancer, your smile is contagious.

Love,
The you that is writing at this very moment

Happy Birthday to My Sister

Cabo San Lucas Family Vacation February 2013

Happy Birthday to you....

Thank you for not only being my sister but being one of my very best friends.... Thank you....

For being someone I can always count on to watch football, basketball, and golf with. (or being the only person that I know that loves them as much as me)

For setting an example of working hard, dreaming big, loving well and selflessness.

For being an incredible woman, sister, friend, and wife.

I love you and miss you a whole lot. Wish I could be there to celebrate with you today.

I am so proud of who you have become and all that you have accomplished.

"I wish you were here, but your not because your'e there. And there doesn't know how lucky it is."

 

 Top Right: Old photo. Bottom Left: South Carolina Family Vacation Summer 2010. Bottom Right: Christmas 2011 in Texas.

Wedding of Vance and Whitney Lambert Chicago August 2010

One of my favorite pictures of all time..... Brittany and Josh Wedding October 2011

Dia de Mayo.... (No school hump day)

Today we did not have school. Today was a national holiday, Dia de Mayo (day of the worker/Labor Day) for most of countries in Central and South America. For the random mid week day off I decided that I would have a "Kristina" day. A day for myself... get some things done, take some time for myself..... I had a lingering task, to work on my resume so that was one of the top priorities.

One of the first things I did after making coffee was I bought new music, the (old/ new) Fray cd. (new to me). The Fray reminds me of Colorado. Listening to the first CD while driving up to ski singing loud in the car with Sam. (good memories) It was my motivation for the day....I can happily say while consuming cups of coffee I finished updating my resume (she is all complete). I cleaned my room, threw things away, did a load of laundry and washed towels and my sheets. Kylie and I did and hour of yoga too. I was able to skype with a friend and my family which was simply icing on top of the day. It was so nice to spend the day just not looking at time and relaxing while accomplishing things....

Speaking of time.......Faye and I spoke briefly last night about what our next few weeks are going to look like and the places we have yet to see in Honduras that we would still like to visit. It is hard to believe that we have only 6 weeks in Honduras left..... (WTH). The next few weeks are about to get very busy.....

This weekend we will be staying in town. We have family dinner Friday night (Alison and Faye cooking). Saturday I am going to host a Derby celebration at our house, make mint juleps, drink mimosas and make some food. Derby day is one day of year (or week for that matter) that I am incredibly homesick. One of the best days.....

In honor of Derby I even had my kids decorate jockey silks in class..... As well we picked horses. If the horse my kids picked wins the Derby they get a package of cookies. (similar to chips ahoy) Should the horse get second they get candy.... My kids as most do picked based on the color of the horse and the color of the jockey silks... :) It was still a lot of fun to show them pictures of the horses and read the names off... Many of them have copied the horse names down so they can watch their houses on Saturday.

I have a few more things I need to sort out and complete but today was a well spent day.......I still have yet to confirm my Honduras on to Nicaragua down to Costa Rica route.... I am trying to decide the cities that I want to stop in.... I do not want to spend my days on a bus when I have just about a week to travel so I prefer choosing one place... Managua or San Juan del Sur? Old colonial city or Surfer Beach town? Decisions Decisions......... but Friday June 14 I must arrive in San Jose, Costa Rica to begin Yoga School. (crazy?!?!?)

So for now I am off to bed..... it is well past my bed time.....But not before wishing a Very Special Happy Birthday to one of my dearest old friends.... the next door neighbor who I would run over to see every day. Grateful you moved in when I was two years old and now 23 years later we are still Best Friends. Love you a whole lot Stefanie and hope you have a wonderful day!

Stefanie, Chelsea and Me

 Warmest to you... Happy almost Derby Day :)

Special Belated Birthday..... Christie Lee

Since last week I was out in the middle of the Caribbean and did not take my laptop with me, I was unable to do a proper Happy Birthday post to one of my dearest and best friends since 1st grade. Yes you read this correct......

From elementary school, to middle school, to high school, from Florida, to California, to eleven annual gingerbread making parties, countless birthday parties, champs skating parties, Mario party, gummy bears consumed in an absurdly large amount , the scott's hot tub, cheese dip, cheese ball from cheddar box, wyld life camp, to sleepovers, to dance competitions, to marshmallow fights, to high school football games, to haunted houses, to young life, to campaigners, to youth group, to Matt wertz, to choir tours,  our mission trip to costa rica, high school prom, high school graduation, visiting Colorado, visiting Lexington, summers in Kentucky, broken hearts, countless moves, lots of phone calls, face timing  weddings, traveling Europe, late night in Munich, and to drinking champagne..... there is no one I could imagine that I could be more grateful to have as a friend for so long. Here's to countless more memories being made around the world..... and to me moving home very soon :)

love you CLS and hope you had the happiest of all birthdays! see you sooner than later :)

“You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the earth by the Master Craftsman.” 

Its your story. (Birthday Weekend in Rio Dulce)

25th birthday in Guatemala is by far the most memorable Birthday to date..... (a close second would be my 21st pizza party in Louisville). I will attempt to recap but I will warn you, its not going to sound good as good it was... Some things just need to be experienced.... 

Friday morningI woke up and our kitchen table was decorated by the girls. A sign saying "Happy Birthday Early" Empty wine bottles were painted and crafted by Faye.  Friday we only had three exams with our kids and then we were set to leave around 1:00 pm to Guatemala. 

I brought a chocolate cake to school for my kids, in honor of my birthday and decided to suprise them during Recess. My kids all full of cake and sugar went outside for recess just as I saw one of the boys and his moms walking towards me with a huge cake in hand. My kids started jumping up and down. "Dos Pastels! Dos Pastels!" Why not I thought? Two cakes in one day never hurt anyone (Or if you ask the principal she must think 5 are ok, because she easily ate five pieces of pizza on Friday)

My kids gave me more hugs than I can count. They sang to me on their own impromtu. I laughed and smiled as they screamed Happy Birthday across the room..... nothing much better than 22 second graders loving on you on your birthday eve. With a full belly and an in antipation of our weekend away the day went quickly. 

We left in true Honduran fashion around 1:35 pm. We had some pre-trip mimosas to start the weekend off well. Our drive took us through San Pedro Sula, up to the coast to Porte Cortez and then crossing the border up to Rio Dulce. Rio Dulce means Sweet River in Spanish. Border crossing is a bit strange considering it looks like a run down rest stop but the transition was simple. We did however do a very dodgy currency exchange through the window of the bus. Such a strange thing to do, swap currency through the window. It works though.

Rio Dulce lived up to all of the hype. The river flows into the Caribbean at the town of Livingston. The place we stayed was right on the water. Even so that the floor boards under our bed peeked down at the water. As we made our way Friday after school we saw the most incredible sunset on the ocean as we drove on the coast. Our trip included all of us teachers, Chele and Miss Emely. (Director of Pre-School).

We arrived late and ate dinner by the water. Emely suprised me with chocolate cake. The group sang and we all crashed in bed before 11:00 pm. The long day and long journey made for a incredible nights sleep.

Dinner Friday Night.

Birthday Chocolate Cake.

Saturday, my Birthday I woke up to skype with my Family. My mom even had a candle lit on Skype for me. (She is too funny). We had breakfast, drank coffee and attempted to talk to Emely with my Spanglish. We made a quick trip to town after breakfast to get money.  In town was packed. People selling everything you could imagine. The fruit and vegetable selection near the coast is so much better than our town. We bought mandarin oranges for less than $1.25 for 12, bananas, and lots of strawberry's. We decided this would be good to take with us on the boat. Everything tasted really good.

The town of Rio Dulce is filled with incredible boats. Large sail boats and yachts people have sailed from all over the Caribbean and central America. We got on a lancha, a water taxi of sorts to take us an hour down the river towards teh Carribean. The moment I stepped on the boat I knew then this was going to be one of the most memorable brithdays yet. 

We drank coconut with rum out of fresh coconuts from the boat owners garden. Danced to music. Swam off the boat. We saw a huge iguana. Watched as women and children rowed down the river to for fishing. The sun was out and there was barely a cloud in the sky. We stopped in town of Livingston on the corner where the river meets the ocean for Pizza. We pulled the boat straight up to the shore and walked out to the pizza place. While the pizza cooked we walked into the town of Livingston. I got my hair impromptu weaved. The pictures are ridiculous. But seeing my hair in person is even more ridiculous. Livingston was a great little town, a lot more markets and toursim than where we live. We ate pizza, and got back on the boat to go back up river. Our tour/ boat ride was all day long. The boat had a hammock on it and Emely swing in the hammock as we flowed down river. We listened to music and all marveled at where we were and how incredibly beautiful it was. Molly and I attempted to drink out of the coconut while treading water. Pictures I think will do this whole day a little better representation. 

Public washing house in Livingston.

Prepping drinks.

After stopping by the hot springs on the lake we got back in the lancha to take us up the river. Two older gentlemen American and English knew that it was my birthday and asked if I wanted to drive the boat. Without hesistation I of course said yes. The boat was huge and standing up on the captains chair it was beautiful  I said to myself, "When in Guatemala? Why not." I stood up, held the steering and off we went. Looking up river the sun began to set. I was heading straight into the sun, mountains aorund and my heart was full.

A few minutes into the ride, the owner of the boat said to his friend “She has done this before.”  in hesitation I responded to his comment “Yea, I have done this before”. (not that often to be honest). Perhaps he noticed my hesitation and casually replied, “Girl its your story you can tell it however you wish too”.

I love that......I told him I am going to steal this line. I love knowing that we each have a story. A story written just for us to live. This is my story. My story all along has included Honduras. God saw to it I would be in this place. With my kids. With these roommates. In this place. God writes the best stories so I am going to keep trusting in his.

Hotsprings Stop

Captain

As for the rest of our journey. The boat broke down. Yes this happened. After waiting for help we all felt pretty lucky to get to have experienced the sunset from the boat instead of by the dock. Only a few boats passed by and we watched the sun set, in one of the most beautiful settings. Faye and I shared a bonding moment on the back of the boat as we were towed to the dock. (hilarious)....It was an incredible day.

We had dinner that evening and stayed late until the restaurant hosted a party that evening. There was live music, (two singers and one backup dancer) They were entertaining to put it nicely. But we more enjoyed the DJ. I faded quickly as the sun and the day had worn me out and curled up in bed at 1:00 am to then wake at 5:00 am to get back to Honduras. I slept on the bus needless to say....

Love this one so much.

Yesterday was a bit lazy... did some laundry, graded some papers, planned our Thursday departure to Guatemala City and Antiqua. So excited to see my best friend again and do Thanksgiving together! Happy 3 day week at school!

Hope yall are doing well. Thank you for my many many Birthday wishes. They are so appreciated and do not go unnoticed.